thew first time my mom..experience the infinite sadness, was in 1989....it was when my oldest brother died
my oldest brother..the great military intelligence officer in the malaysian army...he was the top student in the asia pacific region while attending the army intelligence school in Australia and has a very bright future..destine to be at least a general.... he was the toughest guy and a leader at his high school a boarding school in the northern part of the country.. he was excellent in sports.... and a great son .
he was kind and always...nice to his younger siblings.....he was loved by everybody and was extremely tight with my second brother....they grew up together as they were only 1 year apart...
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| capt tajul ariffin |
in 1989....he got married..through an arrange marriage set up by my parents..(err...i guess he is not a ladies man ...like my second brother..)
i was great...the first one of my siblings to get married.....i was assigned to be the family cameraman....(oh yeah..i was good in taking photo) i capture...almost every aspect of the moment...i was great....
a week after the wedding... he went back to his army base in Serawak. to settle a few things...and brings my new sister in law...closer to him.....exactly 44 days after the wedding.. as i was hanging out in my classroom(i was back in my boarding school) i was suddenly visited by 10 of my friends from taiping...at night.
the minute i saw them..i knew..something bad has happened....... the first question i asked them was is it my father..? is it my mother...? expecting them to tell me...its one of them.
it was my brother....at that moment...i went blank...
he was involved in a mission with his general and a few of the top army brass...when their helicopter crash in the middle of the borneo jungle.... he died instantly
the funeral was grander than his wedding...and we realize that he was a really important person in the army... my parents was in tears...and a saw it..... the face of infinite sadness.....it was on my parents..
my mom.... couldn't speak for around 2 years....she was in a state of infinite sadness.... and we have no idea..on how to help her.. it was really terrible....
and furthermore... my brother died on her birthday....
she took an unpaid leave for several months after the accident...and requested an early pension from the education minister....
she just loss the will to live... people told me losing a son is much worst than losing a parents.....it was...not a normal thing.... and the sadness will be multiplied by a million. it was a level 4...and at a very dangerous level
although i was..feeling a level 3 myself.....but seeing my mom like that....is not something that you want to experience more than once...
RIP...my big bro..olong.. we miss you
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